Monday, March 1, 2010

Boys We Fancy

Conan O'Brien
I have loved Conan since my other The Portmanteau half and I spent a summer working as chambermaids in a weird Mafia-run inn on Long Island. OK so the Mafia thing was only a rumour but if you heard the way the proprietress pronounced the word ‘blind’, you would believe it too. (“Girls you’ve gotta remember to clean the blooiinds!”) Anyway we were under 21 and broke so we spent most of our evenings watching TV rather than engaging in typical J1 pursuits like binge drinking and vandalism. American Idol (the first series) was followed by some local news and then Late Night With Conan O'Brien would come on and what can I say? I fell in love. And I’ve loved him ever since. Obviously I was on Team Coco as the war with Leno and NBC got underway and I actually cried at his gentle and dignified leaving speech. The thing is though that although lots of people “love” Conan, very few can claim to fancy him. “Really though, do you think you could actually... you know?” they ask, wincing. Yeah, totally, he’s hot. L

Declan from Leap Year
The Irish Times film critic Donald Clarke had warned that Leap Year “is offensive, reactionary, patronising filth” but we went along regardless. And yeah it’s crap. Ridiculous clichés abound as gombeen locals yell ‘top of the morning’ to each other and an entire village is nearly blown up after an American plugs in her fancy schmancy BlackBerry. But Matthew Goode is incredibly hot as hapless Dingle publican Declan. I mean let’s get some things straight: he cannot do the accent - he tries to do a traveller-esque brogue but his own posh Rs keep creeping in so he just sounds like some poor unfortunate with a speech impediment – and the character is kind of a loser. But yeah despite all that, we fancy him. The Oh-God-I-am-so-sad-I-fancy-a-romcom-lead moment happened somewhere around the middle of the movie when is forced to don a big farmer jumper (hot) and kill a chicken with his bare hands (also weirdly hot). And so I guess we’ll go along to A Single Man to catch Goode in an actual proper, well-made, fashionable film but I just don’t think that he’ll have the same appeal once he’s clean-shaven. L

The Miliband Bros
It may end up being the battle of the brothers when it comes to the next Labour leadership contest but the only battle that really matters is for the title of hottest brother. Am I crazy? Maybe not. The "David Miliband is Hot" page on Facebook has 97 members. Wow – impressive. They are total geeks – Miliband Snr’s nickname is Brains – but that has never stopped me before (see previous posts on David Mitchell and Moss from the IT Crowd). I have formidable competition for David's affections in the form of Hillary Clinton who was gushing over him in a recent US Vogue interview, calling her colleague “vibrant, vital, attractive and smart”. I totally agree Hills. I'm also fascinated with his hair. It’s Action Man-esque and truly weird. But I think Ed has to win this battle: for his impassioned performance in Copenhagen, which was in total contrast to David’s withering reaction to the attempted coup to oust my other beloved Gordon Brown, and for being just a tad hotter. N

Zac Goldsmith
On the other side of the political divide is Zac Goldsmith. He hit the headlines again recently with the Sunday Times claiming that his donations to the Tories were “improperly registered” - sounds dodgy to me. Zac is a bit of scoundrel alright - this story follows on from accusations that he’s buying his seat in parliament and claiming non-dom status on his estimated £220m. Let’s not forget that he also cheated on his lovely organic wife Sheherazade with his sister in law Alice Rothschild. He denied it of course, claiming they were simply planning a charity poker event. Yeah sure Zac. There are many reasons not to like this guy but he‘s just so golden and gorgeous that I try and ignore them. N



chicknamedhermia said...

I'll be straight with you: they are ALL very worrying choices. :P

ains said...

If it were not for Declan, I would have walked out of Leap Year. His farmer jumper saved that film... barely.